Madspeak

It is the most irritating thing to be invited to a party or to go to a social gathering - there is really nothing to do. Everyone is talking without saying anything - it is pretend talk. No one really listens or cares to listens - they are already so bored by mumbling crowd. Whoever invented parties should have been hanged. Situation 1: You meet someone you know after a very long time, indulge in small talk and then that person spots someone else and walks away halfway between a conversation. Situation 2: You start talking to some one, that person's cell phone rings - instead of paying attention is talking to whoever is at the other end. Situation 3: You are sitting around feeling like a complete idiot, because no one is paying any attention to you, because you have all but given up - trying to go ahead and actually go and talk to anyone because that person is bound to start ignoring in a very quickly. But you are stuck because its late and you are famished and there is not m...

The Phoenix is the stuff of legend - but imagine if there really was such a colourful bird which was several times bigger than an eagle and it was  only one of its kind - a lonely bird -only one and and seen once in a   lifetime. The story is that It dies in a blaze and is reborn. Such   bird could   actually have existed. This giant bird was alone because it reproduced through parthenogenesis. It several times more powerful than an eagle, it could swoop down and capture large animals scoop them up, smash them on the mountain ledges and then devour them. It would swallow in one large gulp and digest while gliding over the mountains. It flew so high that no arrow could see it. The Phoenix would make its nest on the highest mountains, only mountain climbers would have been able to see it. It was the only bird which needed fire to incubate the single large egg it laid after flying for a hundred years. The egg shell was so thick that the new fully grown Phoenix woul...

Our universities produce world class technically qualified people - but the only place they find jobs are abroad. Their knowledge and expertise is not utilised here. Almost everything can be manufactured here, but jobs such people simply do not exist. Those who cannot go abroad end up doing things completely unrelated to their qualifications - it is ridiculous that someone who is qualified to do research for making a life saving medicine, is instead a sales representative of a pharmaceutical company. Investors do not set up automobile factories and hire the countless engineers which are available in the country. There are no local car manufacturers. The stress is on selling imported items - the importers apparently have more influence to scuttle all attempts for local car and motorcycle production. There lots of electronic engineers who can help in the local manufacturing of almost all electronic items like TV, radios and even mobile phones. The Lahore to Islamabad motorway was...

Scientists have not found the soul, but the day do, I am sure they will try their best to clone it. A man dies i.e. he loses his soul, but if his soul is cloned, the man will no longer be dead because his body will be replaced with a copy of his soul. Of course this soul will be without sin, since it will be stored in a special storage area for the entire time and taken out only when the man has died. If the man is blown to bits his cloned body and his cloned soul will replace him. The cloned body will be constantly be uploaded about the persons experiences and all that he knows. His soul will be pure and he can start over. The previous soul will on the way to wherever heaven and hell are. For a long time containment of souls will be very difficult because they would always escape, but once that problem is solved there would be soul banks just like there are sperm banks. As things will develop, several souls will be able to occupy a single body or several bodies will have copies of the...

The only way to get a really grand job is to be in the right place at the right time. Hardwork, talent, ability and intelligence means nothing. All that you learnt at you university or college is worthless. Consider a man working his butt off for years in a company, suddenly finds out the companies boss has been jailed for not paying taxes. The company winds up and the hardworking man ends on the street. He put in his life in the company – now his pension has gone and he is an old man with no chance getting another job. Lots of people try to be become movie stars end up they are too ugly, their voice is terrible and they just simply stupid – it is all matter of being bad luck. Others regardless of how they look get great part in some movie and end up acting in a film which makes lots of money. A good luck also accounts for the fact that some people can get away with mass murder and never be held accountable for their crimes and some one get just kill one person and be jailed for life ...

It has now been over 50 years since the British left our part of the world, their language stayed behind. The Americans and the Australians in the course of time have developed their version of English, the Americans have also changed the spellings and even the pronounciations of many words. So there is no reason why English as it is spoken in the streets be not accepted as the English of our country. Schools teach English - but it is a standard which does not conform to the way the language is actually spoken and written. Latin died as a spoken language because it was too rigid with its rules, only those languages survive which change, adapt and are flexible. The standards of English set in Britain, USA are not the same as those in Pakistan. English can only survive if it adjusts to local conditions. There are so many words and phrases, which would make no sense 'proper English' for instance - "Don't eat my ears" and "Don't eat my brain" these are ...

Why cannot my monthly electricity bill not be Rs 6 instead of it being Rs 8000 my telephone bill Rs 2 instead of Rs 3000 and my gas bill 2 paisas instead of Rs 150? Why cannot the air fare to anywhere in the country be Rs 3 instead of beings several thousand as much? Why is there no network of 8 lane motorways connecting every town and city? Why cannot petrol cost 2 paisas per litre? Why cannot I buy a brand new car for Rs 10? Why does it have to cost as much 10 Kgs of gold? Why cannot I hold the hands of my girl friend and not be ogled at hundreds of people? Why are there no discos? Why are there no bars? Why are there no nightclubs/strip clubs? Why are there no casinos? Why are there no massage parlors? Why is trying to commit suicide considered a crime and not a symptom of deep despair? Why is being gay or lesbian treated as a crime? Why is our cinema industry as good as dead? Why is there mass unemployment and extreme poverty? Why do not nude beaches exist here? Why are feudal lord...