Madspeak

Paychopaths are void of feelings. The past six months have shown me how much they can cause. I came into some money six months - I was jubilant,extremely happy and excited when I received it. The first thing I did was give my daughter, who had graduated a month so earlier and I did not have anything to give her, now that I did,I gave her more than any of uncles and aunts could. She took the money and said nothing just sat there as if nothing had happened. What I was expecting was that she would jump with joy and be very excited about receiving the money.There was absolutely no expression on her face. She had to be prompted - and she gave the expression of joy and happiness - but at no time able truly comprehend the reason.  Later when  I told my wife about the money, which was long overdue - she had the same deadpan reaction as my daughter. No expression of relief and no tears of joy,  nothing at all. Here I am feeling incredibly happy and the response is of cold indiff...

Not being able to choose the parents is a sad part of life. I would be very  happy if I had parents who genuinely loved and cared instead of being the exact opposite. Besides that they lied and thought no end of themselves.  They were violent and mean all the time. When I was small,  they could away by hitting me and being abusive.When I became older they demeaned in front of family and friends.  Running me down every opportunity they got. Ignore me and act as if I did not exist. The friends I made did not meet their approval, because liking someone is not good enough for friendship. Their idea of friendship meant people who can be used to get something in return for friendship. As a result of their attitude I avoided having friends - because never be good enough for my parents. They used to do this in my childhood, way back then I felt as if I was invisible, anything I said or did, did not matter and because no one wanted acknowledge my presence - I felt like killi...

There was matter of inheritance which was settled last year. I had sued my brothers. My wife or her brother helped me contest the case. What remained was the implementation. My brother Sajid  lives abroad, initially flatly refused to come when I told about the court hearing. Later his wife Neeli would call on his behalf . Whenever she called my wife  Razia would avoid picking up the phone and ask me to talk to her.  Razia explained she does not know how to talk with Neeli,  Razia had told so many times that did not  like Neeli and despised Sajid. I was away and Razia had to talk with Neeli, who told that Sajid is going to be coming over in the earliest flight. Razia told me that. Sajid came and did the needful at the court. The next day I had to accompany him to the court  He dropped by my place and left a box of chocolates for my daughter. Considering that Razia did not like or care my brother and his wife, I did not tell Razia. Later after the box ...

This is not writers block, the moment when writers cannot write. It is about where do writers publish their books. Though I am not superstitious I was told by a fortune teller that I would write some book which would make me rich and famous. That of course never happened,  the number of comments on different social networking websites is writing. I doubt anyone would win a Nobel prize for what they write in their blogs. Or if they have their own websites in which they contribute their myriad ideas would be of interest to anyone. But more has been written by so many people than any time in the history of mankind. I wonder if Leo Tolstoy would ever have blogged 'War and Peace'?. For me writing is second nature and I assumed that everyone did and could. Till someone said to me 'I wish I could write'. That surprised me a bit, then I realised  that writing is not a natural thing. Then I heard about people who had established them as novelists, finding the process of writi...

Smart phones have introduced cameras with which people take pictures of almost everything they can. But one thing is certain that people take selfies., clothed and  for the most part naked. The features in the camera exagerrate genitals.  It is worst secret of the worst kept secret of all, every denies  it but everyone is doing it. In malls and other public places everyone is photographing everyone else be they friends and or complete strangers. Promiscuity has increased. people start wearing more revealing clothe and hope someone would make a poster out of it. Whosoever started this selfie thing, it has caught on and there no stopping it. Once people were shy of showing off their bodies to anyone close, but will do so to complete strangers. Discover the thrill of exhibitionism. They do not realise it that it is fundamental change in their attitude. They visit video sex chat sites and expose their bodies to all sundry, not the least bothered who is watching, they becom...

I went to Canada, the first time ever and stayed with my in-laws just because my mother-in-laws was dying and my wife wanted to see her. The trip itself is an adventure in itself. After arriving in Toronto, I stayed one of my nephews. We were having a great time with his kids, who were playful and very loving. stayed for the first day with him. Arriving at the Toronto airport was not as terrifying as we had been told, it was strange and shocking coming to a different country.Anyway that has nothing with the story. We only could stay for 2 days and 1 night, because my eldest sister-in-law Nishat wanted to take her house in Ottawa. It was the afternoon of the next day when she came over  in her car, to whisk us away to Ottawa. The road trip to Ottawa was deathly silent. My brother-in-law Azhar had a very grim face.  Some years back he had sent an e-mail saying that his mother-in-law was not welcome in his house, one of the reasons is because he spent years looking after his a...

She left Pakistan when she was very little and settled in the USA. Her father had married an American woman. Her name is Alisha.when she became 18. Her father is my cousin, his sister tells me that Alisha is pregnant, she was not prepared to discuss it further.  I left it like that, the grapevine of my extended family started. There was lot of gossip going. The little details I could extract was that she was not married and was having a baby For my extended family it was a shocker. "How could she? She is not even married"  and so many questions like them. The more religiously zealous sounded as if they would kill her  if she was in Pakistan.  Several decades ago there was young woman who had come to Pakistan, because she had never seen her father's country. She had a six year old son. Every single day she would get furious calls from her father. One of the reasons he was upset was that the people who knew him would be shaming him for bringing up a daughter who is ...