Madspeak

I feel exactly the same as I used as I did when I was a kid. But it struck me that I was older. I was 20 when teaching and all the kids there started calling me 'Sir'.  That really surprised me. That was the title I used to give everyone who was older than I was. I got over the shock, went to the university completed my studies.Being in my 20s was not safe - cops always stopped all the motorcycle riders who were my age, check licence and registration. But it was easier so many other things. Make friends, talk to almost anyone. When I turned 50 things changed drastically - I looked older to everyone else. People called me  with the titles given to people who are old. It was hard to talk to people because of the age difference. Many of my relatives, friends and colleagues had died. There is tremendous respect for older people I must admit, but I have never felt any different.  For instance I was standing in a place there were number of chairs all occupied by younger people. I

The way people made and established themselves is absolutely disgusting. In any case they are rich, accumulated sufficient wealth over the years. Their wealth however has made them feel they are superior to my family and me.  They have a whole bunch of cars and they arrogant beyond belief and very shallow they cannot make an intelligent comment about anything. They dodge subjects. I know mental illness runs in the maternal side of the family but today was the absolute fucking limit. A month or so back I went to see my surviving maternal aunt, she had some figs, she showed them to me, instead of offering them. She shut them off somewhere and very emphatically said she was not going to give them to anyone. A month later another, simply calling on her she hands over the figs and was being very generous.  When I opened the packet, there were worms and insects crawling all over them. It was fair enough to conclude that even she is not immune to the mean and disgusting behaviour which my