Madspeak

Making the value of one rupee equal to one kilogramme of gold will improve the economy a great deal. The one rupee note will come back and it will not be the miniature copper copper coin it has presently been transformed into. One paisa coin will also come back to life, so will the 10 paisa, 25 paisa and 50 paisa coins. Presently our currency is deliberately under-valued for the benefit of a few people to the detriment of the majority. Reverting to the gold standard is the best thing which can ever be done. Fixing the value of the one rupee note equal to one kilogramme of gold will benefit the economy of the country.

Every time the month of Ramzan (or Ramadan as the Arabs call it) begins – it is intended for the few apparently pious people to start fasting. For those who do not fast those are considered criminals, if ever they are seen eating and drinking in public, they are immediately arrested. Poor labourers who work hard under the burning sun cannot drink water without living in the constant fear of being thrown in jail, although not fasting is not a crime - it is only a sin. The businesses which suffer are restaurants and tea shops. These officials most likely would much prefer see a labourer die of dehydration, instead of letting him have a glass of water - religious injunctions are required to be followed with fanatical zeal. Hard labour increases hunger and thirst and it is not possible to continue working without nourishment, but during Ramzan, the existing ‘Islamic laws' have prohibited this - labourers work long hours and have to wait for the sun to set before they can eat and drin...

The English language daily newspaper - The Dawn leads the most of the English language publications in the most venal anti-Pakistan sentiments. Its columnists and even editorials have an endless tirade against the country. Instead of being specific about issues and offering solutions. Some writers send their dispatches from some country abroad and on the one hand represents it with glowing colours as if – it literally is heaven on Earth while on the other Pakistan is painted is a bottomless pit of absolute despair. Entire pages are filled with such reports and columns. One can only belong to a presumably elite club only when one has the ability damn the country with generalities – not provide the necessary information to back up their views. and praise another. When such people are challenged they have found a way around it – with outright fabrications. The supposed brilliant and learned columnists have never been able to explain why they lack the ability express their views on som...

I have no idea what all the issues are, concerning the people living in a country located thousands of miles away which is locked between two oceans the Atlantic and the Pacific. However when one sees the candidates speak about things, which can be very surprising. For instance no public figure leave alone politicians would over dare, openly discuss whether gay marriages should be allowed or not, Because if anyone were to admit being gay , because of existing laws he would be confessing to a crime and will end up being thrown in jail; so the question of allowing gay marriages can never arise. With respect to the prevalence AIDS - no one knows how many people do suffer from this disease here and how many so far have died because of it, so far. The official policy is absolute denial and camouflage. Taking advantage of the ignorance of the people, doctors can attribute the cause of a patient's death to any number of diseases and no one would be any wiser. A doctor could know that ...

Newspapers, which apparently are influential - publish on a regular basis letters, which for all intents and purposes look - meant to restrict freedom as much as possible. People writing under a variety of names write about how TV cable operators are 'destroying the moral fibre' of society - by having 'lewd' channels. Invariably as a result of such letters, the premises of TV cable operators are raided and their equipment is taken away. Pakistan Electronic Media Authority (PEMRA) an extra-judicial organisation with powers which no one can challenge makes its own rules as it goes along. It is too much of a coincidence that no sooner are those letters published, certain TV cable operators are targetted. It looks more like some kind of vendetta. The 'writers' of such letters sound extremely helpess, as if they cannot switch channels using the remote. Perhaps these are people without limbs or are so paralysed or it could be, they are so enthralled while looking a...

The symptoms of Dracula do not seem any different than someone suffering from rabies - his deadly fear of running water, sunlight. He would bite people - when he did they too would be infected with rabies. It is said he fought the Turkish army and was known as Vlad the Impaler. When he captured Turkish soldiers he force them to convert to Christianity and when they did not, he would impale the forehead to a tree. The cross was his guide but became his curse because he was bitten by some animal which was is a rabies a carrier, a dog or a fox. So when he saw the cross it reminded of the time he contracted rabies. His hate of the Turks was so much that even hated the food they ate, which had plenty of garlic in it. Dracula developed an aversion to garlic. Hence the myth grew that in order to keep Dracula away was to have garlic hanging around. Perhaps in the days of Dracula rabies manifested in some other form, it may result in madness but not death. Dracula would stay out of light and w...

Commuting in a city the size of Karachi is very difficult. The policy of the junta as regards the price of fuel is inconsistent – because of this the owners of public transport – be they taxis or buses do not have fixed fares. Those who travel in buses are not sold bus tickets and taxis do not have meters – they justify this on the grounds that the price of petrol varies from one day to the next, so it is impossible for them fix the fare. When it comes to taxis (or rickshaws) one has ask the driver how much he will charge for going to a particular place. The shorter the distance the more the fare, the longer the distance the fare is comparatively less. If one wants to go to some residential area – the fare is higher, because in such places people usually have their private vehicles and rarely rely on public transport, so taxis go back without any passenger aboard. But if ones destination is a major shopping area, then the fare is great deal less, because the taxi driver will most lik...