Madspeak

One would have expected - that when former USA president Bill Clinton was here, his 'address to the nation' would have been in a friendlier manner, But such was not the case. Instead the manner he presented himself, on our state-owned TV was no different from any other of the countless tin-pot dictators who have been running our country. Clinton was unsmiling - he looked very stern and he spoke very harshly, which was downright obnoxious. Of course Clinton was not here to win votes, had that been the case, the manner he made his speech would have been much more pleasant, He was thumping the desk whenever he made a point - no one actually remembers all that he had said; the details are fuzzy now. Few things cannot be forgotten he said Pakistan is a pariah nation and needed to be warned of dire consequences. As if the lowest forms of life on the planet is a Pakistani. Clinton instead of presenting a pleasant demeanour and a diplomatic one, he was extremely ferocious and just as ...

Millions of years ago a star exploded and it propelled its most distant planet off into space, the planet whom I will call Dharti was ejected from the star system and was wel on its way towards the Solar System. It was a solid planet and not a gas giant, the effect of the star's explosion had caused severe damage to Dharti . In any case as Dharti travelled through the vast emptiness of space, it was a giant amongst errant space objects it was as big as Jupiter and entirely solid. The momentum it had picked up from its own star's explosion did not subside. Finally when Dharti entered the solar system, it did not hit any of the planets although it was several hundred thousand away from them it had incredible gravity, which helped it draw something from each of them. From the gas giants Dharti drew an atmosphere which did not belong to it and from the ringed planets all kinds of junk. Before this planet had arrived Mars was covered in a deep ice, the giant planet had come fairly c...

I grew up in a time when there was hardly any TV - leave alone cable TV and of course no Internet what is even worse there not even game consoles. The only way to spend ones time - was to read comic books. But there was some kind hysteria amongst the adults at that time - who were dead against comic books - if any kid was caught reading one - he would be punished or scolded. Exchanging comic books amongst friends and class fellows was done in secret. Everyone waited anxiously for the next edition of some favourite comic book character's comic book to appear. Adults were of the opinion that comic books are going to corrupt and ruin children, divert their attention from their studies and sports. Comic books were fun - it led to reading actual books, improve ones vocabulary. The fantastic stories helped improve ones imagination. Nearly all the adults of today - grew up reading comic books - turned them into profitable business like making extremely successful films about specific co...

It is the most irritating thing to be invited to a party or to go to a social gathering - there is really nothing to do. Everyone is talking without saying anything - it is pretend talk. No one really listens or cares to listens - they are already so bored by mumbling crowd. Whoever invented parties should have been hanged. Situation 1: You meet someone you know after a very long time, indulge in small talk and then that person spots someone else and walks away halfway between a conversation. Situation 2: You start talking to some one, that person's cell phone rings - instead of paying attention is talking to whoever is at the other end. Situation 3: You are sitting around feeling like a complete idiot, because no one is paying any attention to you, because you have all but given up - trying to go ahead and actually go and talk to anyone because that person is bound to start ignoring in a very quickly. But you are stuck because its late and you are famished and there is not m...

The Phoenix is the stuff of legend - but imagine if there really was such a colourful bird which was several times bigger than an eagle and it was  only one of its kind - a lonely bird -only one and and seen once in a   lifetime. The story is that It dies in a blaze and is reborn. Such   bird could   actually have existed. This giant bird was alone because it reproduced through parthenogenesis. It several times more powerful than an eagle, it could swoop down and capture large animals scoop them up, smash them on the mountain ledges and then devour them. It would swallow in one large gulp and digest while gliding over the mountains. It flew so high that no arrow could see it. The Phoenix would make its nest on the highest mountains, only mountain climbers would have been able to see it. It was the only bird which needed fire to incubate the single large egg it laid after flying for a hundred years. The egg shell was so thick that the new fully grown Phoenix woul...

Our universities produce world class technically qualified people - but the only place they find jobs are abroad. Their knowledge and expertise is not utilised here. Almost everything can be manufactured here, but jobs such people simply do not exist. Those who cannot go abroad end up doing things completely unrelated to their qualifications - it is ridiculous that someone who is qualified to do research for making a life saving medicine, is instead a sales representative of a pharmaceutical company. Investors do not set up automobile factories and hire the countless engineers which are available in the country. There are no local car manufacturers. The stress is on selling imported items - the importers apparently have more influence to scuttle all attempts for local car and motorcycle production. There lots of electronic engineers who can help in the local manufacturing of almost all electronic items like TV, radios and even mobile phones. The Lahore to Islamabad motorway was...

Scientists have not found the soul, but the day do, I am sure they will try their best to clone it. A man dies i.e. he loses his soul, but if his soul is cloned, the man will no longer be dead because his body will be replaced with a copy of his soul. Of course this soul will be without sin, since it will be stored in a special storage area for the entire time and taken out only when the man has died. If the man is blown to bits his cloned body and his cloned soul will replace him. The cloned body will be constantly be uploaded about the persons experiences and all that he knows. His soul will be pure and he can start over. The previous soul will on the way to wherever heaven and hell are. For a long time containment of souls will be very difficult because they would always escape, but once that problem is solved there would be soul banks just like there are sperm banks. As things will develop, several souls will be able to occupy a single body or several bodies will have copies of the...

The only way to get a really grand job is to be in the right place at the right time. Hardwork, talent, ability and intelligence means nothing. All that you learnt at you university or college is worthless. Consider a man working his butt off for years in a company, suddenly finds out the companies boss has been jailed for not paying taxes. The company winds up and the hardworking man ends on the street. He put in his life in the company – now his pension has gone and he is an old man with no chance getting another job. Lots of people try to be become movie stars end up they are too ugly, their voice is terrible and they just simply stupid – it is all matter of being bad luck. Others regardless of how they look get great part in some movie and end up acting in a film which makes lots of money. A good luck also accounts for the fact that some people can get away with mass murder and never be held accountable for their crimes and some one get just kill one person and be jailed for life ...

It has now been over 50 years since the British left our part of the world, their language stayed behind. The Americans and the Australians in the course of time have developed their version of English, the Americans have also changed the spellings and even the pronounciations of many words. So there is no reason why English as it is spoken in the streets be not accepted as the English of our country. Schools teach English - but it is a standard which does not conform to the way the language is actually spoken and written. Latin died as a spoken language because it was too rigid with its rules, only those languages survive which change, adapt and are flexible. The standards of English set in Britain, USA are not the same as those in Pakistan. English can only survive if it adjusts to local conditions. There are so many words and phrases, which would make no sense 'proper English' for instance - "Don't eat my ears" and "Don't eat my brain" these are ...

Why cannot my monthly electricity bill not be Rs 6 instead of it being Rs 8000 my telephone bill Rs 2 instead of Rs 3000 and my gas bill 2 paisas instead of Rs 150? Why cannot the air fare to anywhere in the country be Rs 3 instead of beings several thousand as much? Why is there no network of 8 lane motorways connecting every town and city? Why cannot petrol cost 2 paisas per litre? Why cannot I buy a brand new car for Rs 10? Why does it have to cost as much 10 Kgs of gold? Why cannot I hold the hands of my girl friend and not be ogled at hundreds of people? Why are there no discos? Why are there no bars? Why are there no nightclubs/strip clubs? Why are there no casinos? Why are there no massage parlors? Why is trying to commit suicide considered a crime and not a symptom of deep despair? Why is being gay or lesbian treated as a crime? Why is our cinema industry as good as dead? Why is there mass unemployment and extreme poverty? Why do not nude beaches exist here? Why are feudal lord...

Burgeoning inflexions to make unrealities seem perfections – semblance of inchoate voices breaking the passions of uncertainty in a void breaking the silence of truth. The beginnings meandering in a violent upsurge of passionate discrimination. Tormented souls clamouring for righteous ire to salve their passionate need for vengeance. Uncertainty fills the minds of men the greed of whom is limitless and the desires abound to ravage the world. Violent moments in everyone’s past remain memories till revenge emerges as a solution. Bright unassembled thoughts – illogical and uncertain to enter the violent field of perpetual life we live in. Somewhere there is a semblance of reality – but who is it knows if it is only a façade. Wordless truth, unspoken ideas flourish in the mind, there is no beginning but no ending. A story with no ending is one chosen if it is enjoyed. But a story with an ending is credible – for all living things are born, they live and they die. How long that life will ...

With the exception of the trade unions of journalists, almost all trade unions have been eliminated, even the trade unions of journalists are ineffective - because the junta's interests are towards supporting the owners of large companies. All labour laws are inconsequential, people get jobs, there is no such thing as an appointment letter which states salaries and benefits. Some people are working but their pay is not assured, they might as well be slaves. The journalists cannot get decent increase in their salaries,because the owners of the publications are not willing to pay them. The maximum a full time working journalist can expect to receive is US$430, but the average is US$150 or less. The owners of publications have started TV and radio stations which cost millions of dollars to set up, but are unwilling to pay journalists nearly US$1000 per month, which is a reasonable amount, considering that everything has become so expensive. The situation is going from bad to wor...

Prominent places in Karachi do not have statues, they have old military equipment of all the forces or rocks facings. Statues are not seen as work of art which should be placed in different places – statues are reviled, because it reminds them of Hinduism, because Hindu deities are depicted in statues. But not every statue is a Hindu deity – it is a work of art and should be appreciated as such. Paintings do not show people, instead of doing that, calligraphy is promoted and presented as art, which is patently absurd. The development of art is stunted because of religious bigotry and prejudice. Some religious fanatics will not pray, if they see a statue is in front of them, assuming that if a statue is in front of them and they pray, then they have made the statue their god – which is ridiculous. If they belief in the omnipresence of God, the statue in front of them is irrelevant and is not transformed into a deity. Religious fanaticism has no limits and apparently has no cure. Pain...

Although cable TV exists in the country, the cable operators are faced with major dillema. On the one hand they have to please their subscribers and give them the channels they want to see on the other they face a stupid oppressive government which imposes penalties on them for showing unacceptable channels. Why does the military interfere in the privacy of the people? What is it trying to prove? Stupid leaders make stupid decisions. The Internet and cable TV should be freed of the junta's control. When this will happen it is impossible to know.

In Star Trek - the devices most commonly used are are transporters - fancy names for teleportation devices, then there are replicators - not to be confused with the evil Replicators of Stargate Sg1. These replicators can synthesise complex items such not only food, but only plates, cups and glasses - what if this two devices were combined. - transporters could be used to transport food into our bellies, transport out all body wastes - so you never have to go to the bathroom. Replicators could be used to make weapons of all kinds - doctors do not inject anything in the patient - the ships computer is so smart it can transport out a tumour or replicate the right drug and transport into a patients body - in fact the ships computer will be constantly monitoring the crew's health. Why should robots be four limbed creatures they can be like octopus but with many more arms so that they can each arm can do be doing different things at the same. All space travel shows have these ships bre...

The move to protect the environment is a double edged sword – there is a great deal of stress on health and hygiene but in the process wiping out many living things who benefit us.The aerial spraying of cities –for the purpose of hygiene would wipe out insects and flies indiscriminately, because these pesticides are not specific to particulars insects – it would also kill those insects which do not harm us in any way many of them benefit us. The result is that all the birds and bats might die of starvation in absence of insects or would have to go beyond city limits to have their meal. So the modern concept of hygiene and sanitation – may well doing more harm than good. During fumigation, every single insect is exterminated indiscriminately, even the beautiful butterfly gets caught in the crossfire. What is worse the creature most women hate and fear for no reason at all - the lizard also gets killed. Lizards eat insects on a massive scale. If they are left alone, apart from devouring...

Official statements that there hardly any AIDS patients in Pakistan . Admitting that there is AIDS in the country would mean the acknowledging that there are gays, drug addicts and there is sexual promiscuity. Being gay is treated as vicious crime, for a woman to be found out to have premarital or extra-marital relations with someone would automatically turn her into a criminal including the person or persons with whom she had any such relations. Most of the time the existing law in the country help in falsely accusing a woman or any man – for ulterior motives. Not revealing figures as to how many people have died of AIDS will not make the disease go away, ignorance is not bliss – it is fatal. Mentioning a condom leave its use is simply out of the question. The advertisement are too vague to make any sense. Sex education is prohibited, because it is assumed that it would result into turning students into sexual predators. AIDS cases are camouflaged, cause of death of an AIDS patient ...

The concept of an identity card is flawed for a number of reasons: The greatest danger of identity card is that it can be used to persecute members of a certain community, religion or sect. Including people belonging to a particular province or a specific area. Identity cards have always been a tool of a totalitarian state. If a person does not have an identity card, he is immediately considered a suspect and is imprisoned. It is an easy way for state officials to extort money from innocent people, when they are stopped and asked to show their identity card and if they do not have one they are made to pay whatever they have in their pockets, or the identity card can taken away and the person whose identity card it is will have to pay to get it back. The entire concept of the requirement of an identity card is an elaborate form of racketeering. The requirement of identity card turns everyone who does not have one into a criminal. Distrust then becomes mutual; no one feels safe what...

It is common knowledge that education is given the lowest priority by the state, as it receives the least amount of funds from the annual budget. For this reason the conditions of government schools and colleges are in an extremely poor condition. Because of this the private schools business is thriving and - the methods by which they operate is entirely fraudulent. These private school charge up or more than Rs 35,000 as admission fees and an additional Rs 12,000 (4,000 per month) as term tuition fees, these have to be paid together So the total amount for the admission of only one child is Rs 47,000 – which is well beyond the means of many parents. Later every subsequent three months the Rs 12,000 is charged as term tuition fees. Although all the money these schools receive, they really have no intentions to provide anything tangible in return. Children are expect to do well on their own., without expecting any help from their teachers. If some child does n...

Every attempt is being is being made to block the Internet and cable TV here in Pakistan - by different organisations set up by the existing junta. Yet crime and terrorism remains on the rise - reporting it in detail is out of the question, as though not reporting it would make it go away. State controlled media organisations - only represent the point of view of the dictators and their lackeys, those out of power are treated with aabsolute contempt. Bureaucrats decide what kind of entertainment or advertisement is acceptable. Radios are still the only way most people in the country can know what is happening from different foreign radio stations. Radio crosses borders and it cannot be filtered or blocked. It keeps hope alive. When acts of terrorism and crime were not reported in the state owned media, as far as it was concerned 'no news is good news' , foreign radio stations report them, some which occur a few blocks away from where I live with complete detail.. The immen...

A recent reports from the National Committee for Maternal Health (NCMH) said that in Pakistan 30 women die every minute due to complications during child birth, while nine babies are born at the same time. If one were to accept this figure, then approximately 16 million women would have died after a period of one year, at the same time there would be about 5 million orphans. This staggering figure is the result of a simple calculation. Multiplying the figure provided by NCMH with the number of minutes there are in an hour, then multiplying that amount with the number of hours in a day; later multiplying that with the number of days there are in a year According to the official census there are 150 million people in our country, If 16 million women are going to die every year and 5 million children are born(most of whom would most likely be orphans). This means that there would be 10 per cent less women and only 3 per cent more children. If this trend were to continue for 10 years; the...