Madspeak

For someone who has never ever done a job before and never been given any kind of career counselling by any who is genuinely a professional in this field, the hardest thing to know is what to demand in terms of salary and benefits and that is exactly what happened when I was hired by an advertisisng agency. Because I loved to write I became a copywriter, instead of being an account executive (as it was known in those days) to fawn in front of advertisers. But as time went by I discovered that the advertising agency which I had joined and the other advertising agencies I which I would eventually worked in, I learnt that the job of a copywriter was absolutely redundant, because the owner of the advertising agency considered himself as the world's greatest creative genius and knew exactly what kind of ads need to be made. So someone working as copywriter was really of no use. Becoming an account executive was not something I had any interest in doing, but since there were no other o

The FBI has been around here for some years now. Practically taking over much of the work of the local police. If law enforcement has been handed to the FBI, that is great, we can disband our own police force - which save a lot of the taxpayers money. Why stop at the FBI have the entire police force in the USA come and stay here - imagine them trying to control the traffic in Karachi. Jokes aside, the more obvious reasons for the FBI's presence is to prevent terrorism - but that does not mean terrorism in Pakistan it means terrorism in the USA. But from what I been hearing the FBI is doing a great deal more than that, things which the Pakistani police are better at doing. But under the prevailing circumstances, it has become obvious that the way our police handles is not to the satisfaction of the FBI. The FBI has become a sort of Big Brother type organisation, every Pakistani is guilty until proven innocent. Things have come to such a state that everything that Pakistanis do or s

There are endless articles appearing in a variety of newspapers that people should learn English. What the writers forget is that English is not exactly a perfectly spoken language - it is altered over a period of time. The type of English whch almost those columnists mention could very well be Latin. They have complete disdain for the type of English which people speak here. This English has its own pronounciations, its own spellings and a variety of phrases have competely different meanings. No one speaks what is sometimes called 'Queens English' or even 'Kings English', people speak as they understand or think it is right. The rules of grammar which seem to be carved in stone are shattered. As long as one person can understand the other, without having to be too academic about it. The columnist forget that the English they want is also changing in the countries where it is spoken, because it is the only language they know. In Pakistan people speak several

Imagine BBC telling its viewers who watch its programmes 'Click Online' - about the great porn websites it has found, but that of course would never happen. But this programme does tell its viewers about completely worthless websites. The websites which have been found are meant for kids. Grown ups have no use for them. Then there are websites about where news can be found, the BBC will never advertise an alternative news source. The claims of BBC being impartial and balanced absolute rubbish.

When the Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) won the majority vote in West Pakistan - the reasons were for what it stood for - it had nothing to do with the people who led it. The slogan 'Roti, kapra aur Makan' meaning 'Bread, clothes and housing for all' was powerful and elections proved it was also was very popular. Other political parties relied on nationalism and religion or some other values which did not benefit anyone. The PPP enforced all the International Labour Organisation's conventions. This brought about a major change in an otherwise extremely repressed society. The previleged and the rich could literally get away with murder - people were not employees - they were absolute slaves. There were no laws protecting them. Many businessmen who had become accustomed to the old ways of runing their businesses with absolute disregard for the people they had hired realised they were not going to get away with any kind of abusive behaviour and not forcing people be

There was this anecdote of a prostitute who was infected with multiple sexual trasnmitted diseases (STD) obviously as a result of unprotected sex with her customers. Eventually when one of her customers was suffering from AIDS, she knew nothing about the disease - anyway he paid for her services and left. The strangest thing was her body's immune system was so overactive protecting her from all the diseases she was suffering or could have ended up suffering from - but she showed no sign of illness, when AIDS entered her body - it was neutralised. This was found out by a survey team trying to find out about the prevalence of AIDS amongst prostitutes. This particular prostitute was unique her body's immune system did not fall apart due to AIDS. Only goes to show that unless the human body's immune has something to do, it will become weak. Intensely sanitised societies and with tremendous stress on hygiene all the time weakens the immune system, because there is nothing

Holding hands and touching - is in a spirit of friendship, closeness - it does not make anyone uncomfortable. Nothing is made it out of such things here. It is fairly common to touch and pat, or have ones arms over another's shoulder - the sentiment is simply a sort mutual respect for one another nothing else. However any form of touching is considered seriously unacceptable by whom are referred to as Westerners. For them touching is seriously offensive if not downright criminal and their reaction is exremely obnoxious. But they are baffled in the way people conduct themsleves in public here. They cannot understand why no one reacts with rage. A term I found out was a new development - 'privacy space' an invisible barrier beween one person and another. Which is downright inhuman. A violation of this space is reason enough for being rude and generally behave badly. Distancing oneself from all others. The idea of being aloof and absolutely indifferent is a dangerous dev

It is well known that many people cannot afford to pay doctors and hospitals - which automatically results in their death. The extremely poor die anyway - because they never get to eat the proper food and do not have access to clean drinking water. The do not have the right clothes and have no shelter, these people are going to die - these are the nameless, faceless lot whom no one cares to know about. So the question about caring for such people and really trying to save their lives - that will never happen. Euthanasia is a very controversial issue, just as capital punishment is. The right for the state to decide as to who should die and should live. What a clever way for someone to commit murder withouit ever getting caught - in the case of capital punishment an innocent person can be framed, lots of fake evidence and lots of people blatantly committing perjury and thus this person ends up being executed for a crime he did not commit. Later it is found out that he really was in

Yesterday nigh I saw a convoy of cars and vans, people were being asked to participate in 'million man march' against a propsed plan to privatise the examination board system - the organisation is sponsored by the Agha Khan. What is surprising though that no one has proposed a similar march against rising prices of virtually everything. People should be demonstrating en masse against the outrageous increase in prices of practically everything. It is surprising no political party has taken up this issue. Of course one can rule out religious polical parties - they have no agenda, no manifesto except how to promote religion. They do not take up issues such as rising prices, growing unemployment, crime and suicides. They also have no charitable function. As for the other political parties - it is surprising that the problems faced by ordinary people does not interest them - they may make lot of noises in the parliament - but do not have the courage to call for a mass protest a

How silly can people be - just because no one posts a reply to my blogs - does not mean they haven't been seen - where I had written my blog - has a system whereby it can block websites. What I wrote must have infuriated a lot of people - it only goes to show that what I am 'blogging' is being read and driving people crazy. Oh well there goes the freedom of expression!!

General Musharraf's junta has increased price of virtually everything. Milk, flour, petrol and gas have become terribly expensive. The cost of electricity, telecommunications and air fares are ridiculously high. This military dictatorship has become intolerable - the criminal increase in price of things should not go unpunished. It is obvious the military does not care what anyone thinks. It imagines public opinion is of no consequence. But when public opinion turns into a mass uprising it will be impossible to control and manage. The military officers will shed the uniforms and hide their ranks and pretend they have no association with the military. Military rule always has will always mean absolute corruption. Military dictators have absolute power and that means they are absolutely corrupt. They do not represent anyone except the members of their junta. The present democracy is a facade - Shaukat Aziz imported from abroad was finance mininster now he is prime minister. He has no

Everyone who is doing a job does so because he (or she) is unable to do any kind of business. Everyone who is doing business is either fortunate to have inherited it, or started it. But the problem is that businessmen and workers are members of the state - so under the laws of the state - both enjoy rights and previleges. It cannot be that all the businessmen should have all the rights and previleges and benefits and the workers should have none. A businessmen have to employ but the right to fire anyone on a whim should never exist. All workers have the right to put in a specific number of hours and be paid for them. The example of a venal form of capitalism is that of a chief accountant of a company who sorted out the accounts of his employer. He worked round the clock, even worked on weekends, did not take a single leave. The day he made his presentation of the work he had done before the management. He was congratulated for the great work he had done. No sooner was the chief

It is an old tradition of our newspapers is to announce the names ‘top three’ position holders of any examination. Which is nothing but a statistical improbability, because out of tens of thousands of students appearing in an exam it is ludicrous that only three students should fully comprehend the subjects they were taught. If this is true then it would mean that all the other candidates for the exams are complete idiots who could not understand the subjects they were taught. There is something seriously wrong with this, either all should fail all should get equal marks because they were all given the same subjects to study hence should provide the same results. It is impossible to believe that only three students every year get the topmost marks while the rest lag behind. No one studies in order to fail one seeks admission in an educational institution so that one gets an opportunity to learn. No one will invests in anything in which the chances of failure is the most likely outcome.

In Islamabad a residential area has come under control of an authority (which has been praised to the skies0 - it only means the people living in that residential area will not the previlege represenatation. They will be subject to the whims and fancies of the those who run the administration of the authority. Instead of being called a housing society in which all the people living in the residential area had a say in the problems which they faced - now those rights have been taken away from them. It is as if the people cannot be trusted to look after their own interests. In Karachi the Defence Housing Authority exists it is a part of the Cantonment Board. A cantonment use to a British military base and housing area. These should have been done away after 1947 - but they continued. The military not only runs the country, it is also the biggest real estate businessmen. The military has also entered the education business - providing dubious degrees to students. When the most hated and

The anti-smoking campaign has been around for over 20 years, cigarette ads and packs of cigarettes state the harmful effects of smoking. But even then people smoke, obviously the anti-smoking campaign does not work. I doubt very much that cigarettes are addictive as it is claimed. I tried smoking - it had no effect! I never developed the 'habit' . I can only assume that most people smoke more for social reasons than anything else. Perhaps some people have the tendency to get addicted or they choose to get addicted. One of the most potent argument smokers present is 'No one lives forever' and the other is 'live healthy and die healthy'. Unlike excessive alcohol consumption, cigarettes have yet to prove that they are a social menace. A person who drinks too much can become a menace to society, his behaviour is a danger to everyone, particularly his family provided he has any. No warning labels exist on the bottles of alcohol beverages - althoug

Considering the way people protested about the building of new consulate for the USA in Karachi - only shows how fed up people of the city have become with - diplomats of not only the USA but also of other countries, who are demarcating entire city areas as if they are their private turf. It has become irritating. Not only the flow of traffic is affected but also anyone passing by the offices and residences is considered suspect as if everyone in the city is a terrorist. A perfectly law abiding citizen is treated like a common criminal. It would be better if the consulates, all the foreigners who feel insecure in Karachi, would be start living elsewhere. It is a matter to note that as long as the Cold War lasted, the friendly face of all envoys was seen. There were cultural events. But as soon as the Cold War ended the envoys became blatantly obnoxious and hostile. First it was ' How to make friends and influnce people' the opposite 'How take enemies, coerce, irritate

Starting a career in advertising – every advertising agency is one man show. The person who owns the advertising agency – is the only copywriter and creative director. There is no place for anyone who chooses to be a copywriter, there never was and there never ever will be. In all companies whether they are advertising agencies or not have one thing in common the person who is the most incompetent, the most stupid is more likely to be promoted. Promotion is based the heights of incompetence one can rise to. This idea cost the life of the former Prime Minister ZA Bhutto who promoted the apparently the most idiotic generals and who had track record of complete incompetence – to the top ranking position in the army. He was none other than General Zia-ul-Haq. He overthrew ZA Bhutto’s government and had him executed. But the concept of promoting a complete moron is the fear that a smarter person would threaten the position of the person at the top. An incompetent and stup

The junta has done it again, blocking all the roads of Karachi – because of another dubious international fanfare which goes by the name of Expo 2005. The junta is above the law and has no consideration for anyone, causing huge traffic jams where should be none. Entire areas have shut off so that the movement of traffic is curtailed. Not even ambulances are allowed to get through, although have right of way, because they are on a mission to save lives. Just like the previous IDEAS exhibition where the same moronic behaviour was displayed. Whenever the existing ‘prime minister’ and ‘president’ is in the city, the entire city areas are blocked. What is worse the junta has recently increased the price of petrol has been increased by 110% and the ‘prime minister’ says inflation is only 7%. So all the people who waiting forced traffic jams with their engines running were going nowhere at all, waiting for hours before they got anywhere. Be it IDEAS, Expo 2005 or if the ‘prime

It is said that slavery has come to an end in this day and age, but nothing can be further from the truth. The large feudal lords of Sindh and Punjab are above the law in every sense. All the people working on their farms are slaves or serfs. Slavery also exists amongst the tribes, tribesmen are nothing more than slaves of their chiefs, they are not entitled to any pay for their services. What has become a threat to their way of life is industrialisation. The employment of people and paying them salaries on a monthly basis. But it will take a very long time when slavery will ever end. All these slaves have forfeited every bit of their dignity for the singular purpose of survival. Those who can escape to the city, mainly Karachi where the majority of the factories are located do so. But it takes a tremendous amount of courage to do so. The concept of industrialisation and job creation is still an alien one. The existing system can never bring about true democracy when most

When mobile phones were first introduced they were large bulky items, the size of most cordless phones of these days. But now they have shrunk in size and have so many features that fill an entire book. In the beginning they could only be owned by those who very rich, nowadays - almost everyone has them including kids. The original need for these phones was entirely business purposes just like personal computers use to be. Businessmen of large companies found the phones useful to make their deals while on the move in the chauffeur driven cars or were in not in their offices and were elsewhere. Well that was the original idea till their prices dropped and their features increased. In the beginning owning a mobile phone was a symbol of prestige, people would hauling them around in parties as if they were a luxury item. Today only those people make a show of their phones if they are really very expensive and have countless features in them although they may never use them or